Politically Correct Insanity

Committing Voter Fraud is Actually Super Easy

I was at a polling place to vote in a local election recently; I was sure to bring all the ID I would need to prove who I was to avoid any confusion. When I was next in line, I stepped up to the table, atop which sat a thick three-ring binder with a long list of local residents. Even though I was looking at the list upside down, the names were all in large print, with a check mark and a signature next to them if that person had already voted.

Voting stations at a common polling place

Voting stations at a common polling place

The poll attendant smiled at me.

“What’s your name?” She asked.

“Cole Ellenbogen,” I replied.

The woman thumbed through a few pages of the booklet, muttering “E, e,” as her index finger quickly passed over each name on the page. “Ah, there you are. Just sign here.”

I looked at her, startled: “That’s all? You don’t need to see my license, or-”

“No,” she shook her head, smiling again, “no need.” She turned the binder around on the table, and tapped my name with a ballpoint pen, which she then handed to me. I scribbled my signature, voted, and left.

My mind was absolutely blown. I voted in an election and showed less ID than I have to when I buy a lottery ticket. All you have to do to commit voter fraud is be able to read upside down, and pick a name off the list without a signature.

We need photo IDs to vote. The Federal Election Commission recommended it years ago, but the push to require identification is shot down time and time again by opponents who claim that requiring photo IDs is an attempt to stop minorities from voting. Is it really racist to require an ID?

Let’s take a look at the list of other things that you need an ID for that aren’t racist:

Board a plane, buy alcohol, buy cigarettes, enter a casino, play the lottery, open a bank account, apply for and receive welfare, apply for and receive food stamps, file for and receive unemployment, buy an M-rated video game, see an R-rated movie, buy a cellphone, sign for a cell phone contract, donate blood, buy certain types of cold medicine, pick up a prescription, buy a gun, apply for a hunting license, apply for a fishing license, to drive or buy or rent a car, get married, check into a hotel, adopt a pet, apply for a job, or get a permit to gather and hold a protest.

What’s different about having an ID for voting?

I’ll leave you with that. Now in the words of Nelson Mandela:

Nelson Mandela sporting his "Get an ID. Register. Vote." Shirt

Nelson Mandela sporting his “Get an ID. Register. Vote.” Shirt

-By Cole Ellenbogen

White Christmas = White Power?

This post is going to be difficult for me to get through without swearing, so bear with me – I could’ve just as easily called this: SNOW IS RACIST, ALLEGES SOCIAL MEDIA.

I like country music. Everything from the feel of it, to the lyrics, it just always puts me in a good mood and makes me think of the summer time.

I also like Darius Rucker. I don’t know anything about his political stance on anything, and frankly I don’t care; he’s a musician and I like to compartmentalize. He sings a particularly good remake of wagon wheel, if that gives you a better idea of who he is.

Anyway, last night Darius Rucker performed a Christmas song at the Rockefeller Tree-Lighting in New York City, and was immediately blasted on social media for being racist and insensitive. I’m sure you can already guess which villainous song he was singing: “White Christmas.” Apparently, that is insensitive because of the recent grand jury decisions in both Ferguson, and NYC. See for yourself:

WARNING: THIS VIDEO IS NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED; IT FEATURES AN AFRICAN AMERICAN COUNTRY MUSICIAN SINGING ABOUT HOW HE HOPES IT SNOWS THIS CHRISTMAS.

I understand that some people are upset with the Eric Garner case, but to consider just the color white to be racist is insane.

Does this mean that we shouldn’t whitewash buildings, use whiteout to correct writing mistakes, or talk about Walter White’s tragic life on Breaking Bad, until the protests have all ended? By that logic, power outages, thin, hard-to-see ice and my favorite kind of olives are ALL racist as well! (See also blackout, black ice and black olives.)

Darius Rucker should not be taking flack for singing one of the most popular Christmas songs of all time simply because it contains the word “white” and there happens to be a protest about the death of an African American occurring nearby.

I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that there are people out there who legitimately believe “White Christmas” is a racially charged and hateful song, or the fact that those people incorrectly used the word “ironic” to describe the situation. I know it doesn’t really relate to the story, but irony is not coincidence. Just figured I’d throw that in there.

Either way it looks like I have to stay inside for the rest of the winter so I don’t see any of that racist snow.

Give me a break.

By Cole Ellenbogen